Then, we can spread the word about stroke together. The importance of prevention and teaching others to move on after having experienced a stroke is essential to my family and me.
A View from the Other Side: When the Physician Becomes the Patient
My story began in the early morning of November 17, 2021. It resulted in a re-birthing of who I am and what I’m becoming. I had a massive stroke that caused paralysis of my right side and left me unable to speak. I was life-flighted to the hospital where I work, and suddenly, I became the patient and not the caregiver. I received thrombolytics, then went to the neuro-interventional suite, where they retrieved most of the blood clots from my middle cerebral artery. Two days later, I walked out of the hospital with the assistance of my wife. I was still in shock and trying to comprehend what had happened—my diagnosis: cryptogenic stroke, a stroke without an easily identifiable source. I have struggled to understand what this means to me and my health. It remains a source of profound anxiety for me.
There are a few things worth mentioning about my hospital stay. First, the physicians and staff were terrific—every one of them. Second, my friends took on a whole new meaning. They were the ones who came and sat with my wife, not knowing the outcome. They cried when they could finally come back and see and talk to me. These are the friends that will always be in my life. Finally, I could not love my wife more than I did during those days. She is my hero.
Once I was home, I was able to concentrate on my recovery. I cruised through speech and hand therapy. I graduated both after just eight sessions. These helpful therapy sessions did not take me where I needed to be. I was missing something. I needed to feel solid and confident in everything I did, but I wasn’t there yet.
I felt no pressure from anyone other than myself to get back to work. I now know returning to work after only three weeks was too early. I suffered from anxiety, my speech didn’t feel normal, and I had an episode of aphasia in a meeting: it was horrible. While I looked entirely normal physically, I was not functioning well mentally. My mind spun out of control, and I could not reign it in. I no longer knew who I was or what I was becoming. My mind took me down paths of dark imagination.
I had them all: anxiety, fear, depression, and a lack of confidence and courage…but I learned to prevail.